subtleslide (subtleslide) wrote,

how to save a life

| how to save a life | r | super junior | kyuhyun/donghae | 862w |

kyuhyun is trapped inside a collapsed building and donghae - he's not sure what donghae is.

warnings (contain spoilers; highlight to read): dark!fic, character death(s)

can i keep you donghae asks, in a sort of whisper that trails off, much like his body. he looks like a comma, kyuhyun thinks, but with arms.

"no." he replies, shivering a little when donghae runs a finger down-into-through his arm. "stop that. it's cold."

donghae flinches, as much as a translucent non-corporeal form can flinch, and draws back a few inches. sorry i didn't realize i haven't quite gotten used to

"i think," kyuhyun interrupts. "i think there is a very reasonable, logical reason for all this. i think my head wound is acting up. i think you're not real at all."

but i am real donghae shifts closer again; extends a palm towards kyuhyun's heart. you can see me and you can feel me when i touch

"you're a hallucination. a figment of my overactive imagination. i made you up because i'm scared and lonely and possibly dying and i need the company." he can see donghae's fingertips sinking into his chest and, suddenly, it's like being drenched in ice water. there's something closing around his heart, cold and not-quite-solid-nor-liquid-nor-gas. it's uncomfortable and suffocating and he thinks this must be what dying feels like, with his heart racing and lungs fluttering uselessly but -

but it's not real. you're imagining this, kyuhyun reminds himself, biting hard on in the inside of his cheek until the taste of blood fills his mouth. it clears his mind a little, lets air fill his lungs in long, slow motions, calms his heartbeats until they thud in eighth and not sixteenth beat. the real donghae made it out. the real donghae is probably crying through his fiftieth prayer right this second. the real donghae isn't stupid enough to come back in, especially for someone he only fucks about once a month.

you should have gotten me that self-preservation for christmas donghae says, maybe a little sadly - it's quite hard to tell from the translucency. no, definitely sadly, because kyuhyun is the one weaving this entire scenario, so he would know it down to every detail.

"they were all sold out. it's a hot commodity during times of unrest." kyuhyun jokes. it's a bit weird knowing that he's talking to himself; telling himself all the jokes he once knew. he tries not to look down, where donghae's hand is still residing somewhere between his lungs and around his heart, although if it bothers him that much, he should be able to make it disappear, right?

he thinks hard about it, but the hand doesn't move. it figures that he'd have so little control over his own goddamn hallucinations.

it's been thirty-eight hours they're going to give up on you soon donghae whispers against his ear. kyuhyun doesn't feel the familiar warm breath that usually accompanies the words. in a little while you won't have a choice

kyuhyun turns his head, although the movement feels unnaturally sluggish. "what choice?"

but donghae only smiles and pulls his hand from kyuhyun's chest. warmth floods back into his core, and kyuhyun can't help but shiver gratefully. but for the first time, he notices the lack of feeling from his legs, the numbness traveling up his arms, the blur of his cellphone light dimming around the edges. then the pain comes, and it's worse than anything kyuhyun's ever experienced. worse than the accident. worse than the surgery. worse than the recovery, when he was sure he'd never sing nor dance again, because he's starting to feel that, this time, he really won't be making it out alive.

a noise of pain escapes him and, suddenly, he's drenched in freezing water again. i can make it painless like this donghae says, face hovering in front of kyuhyun's, hands back to where they were, propped on his organs, i can make it quick so quick you won't even notice i promise just say yes

kyuhyun finds it hard to think. it's like his mind has been swathed in bundles of cotton. "i don't even remember what i'm supposed to be saying yes to."

to me just say yes to me like you've always done kyuhyun-ah the icy grip is almost painful now, tight and constricting and squeezing his chest until kyuhyun has to place a hand on his sternum to make sure his torso hasn't crumpled in like a tin can.

let me keep you kyuhyun-ah you don't want to be lonely do you i came back for you why can't you do the same for me donghae's voice has sharpened from its dreamlike echo into an angry hiss. there's pain again, except this time it's concentrated inside his chest. he can't feel much of anything anymore except the way his heart is struggling inside some strange grip that's holding it still, forcing it to stop by sheer strength.

"stop." kyuhyun gasps, "stop. i don't think this is - "

but whatever he's about to say dies in a sharp inhale. content, donghae releases him, quivering delightedly at the last rush of air from kyuhyun’s lungs, and drifts back to the corner of their rubble-littered alcove. there, he waits.

kyuhyun will be with him soon. he won’t be lonely anymore.

title taken from "how to save a life" by the fray
lapslocked for laziness
trying out a different style. hope it worked out :)

Tags: fandom:super junior, fanfiction, length:drabbles, pairing:kyuhyun/donghae
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